“Can you give me more information on what being asexual means?”-Question submitted by Anonymous and answered by Kelli Miller as a part of Everyone Is Gay: Second Opinions—Kelli Says:Being asexual means I don’t experience sexual attraction. As far as what that means for me, I once told my dad that I could go my entire life without having sex and be a perfectly happy human being. An awkward conversation to have with my dad, certainly, but it was telling of how a lot of people feel, as his answer was “That’s not right.” I don’t believe him, though, because there’s nothing wrong with me! Some people want sex, and some don’t. I just would have an easier time than most going without it.This brings an interesting dynamic to relationships. Contrary to some myths, asexuals do have friends and some do get into romantic relationships, myself included. There are romantic orientations that we use to describe ourselves, and I consider myself homo-romantic. In short, I dig other girls. A lot. I get crushes all the time. Dating itself isn’t any more difficult for me than it can be for most other people who are a little on the neurotic side. I haven’t done an extensive amount of it, but I’ve had partners in the past. Admittedly, it is intimidating on the basis of being asexual, but relationships are built on trust and good communication, and I’ve managed to do well for myself. It turns out that most of the time spent with a partner doesn’t involve sex, so it works out for me, as I’m rather neutral towards sex and am willing to reach a compromise. My last romantic relationship involved some compromise, though not too much. I’m not averse to sex and consider it enjoyable and bonding. Asexuals can have sex; they just don’t experience the sexual attraction.Some don’t paint a flattering picture of us. Being asexual, I’m invisible to a decent portion of the population. If we’re not invisible, then some will go on to say that we don’t exist or worse. That’s when the hurtful comments start coming in. We’re considered broken, sometimes inhuman. Someone I knew insisted I was an alien or a robot before he eventually told me that there was likely some Darwinian reason for why I’m asexual— I obviously have something so wrong with me that I’m not supposed to procreate. I was told by some people that I should check my hormones, and that is something that happens very often to those in the asexual community. As it stands, I have had my hormones checked and they are fine, thank you very much. People are downright rude, sometimes. I’ve been asked if I masturbate, which is something that happens frequently to other asexuals. I hate seeing some doctors, because I’ll be asked about my sexuality. A doctor once asked me if I was sure I wasn’t just gay, as I’m a male-bodied person who might have been in denial about liking men. Most accept it eventually, but continue to ask if I still consider myself asexual at other visits. We’re a rather marginalized group.I do find people who accept me and my identity without question in my local LGBT+ community. There’s an asexual pride flag hanging in my school’s LGBT center, and I’ve found a community outside the initial asexual community I got into. I consider myself queer, but not all asexuals think or feel the same way. That identity might have more to do with my gender and the relationships I engage in, but it’s different for everyone. That’s a separate part of my being, though, so I’ll hold off. I will say that one of the more entertaining things to come out of a relationship, given my being asexual, was becoming cuddle buddies with a friend and telling her she was practically a “friend with benefits” as far as I was concerned. That’s a good taste of what I think it means to be asexual. Mileage may vary.
Reblogging because this is important.
Any one else terrified that this has more notes than almost anything else in the asexual tag, and most of them are supporting this statement.
Can we possibly get more notes on this than they did because this is one of the highest notes ive seen on the tags and it shows ace people a really depressing idea that there will always be more ignorant and intolerant people than allies and that would’ve been so damaging to me when first realizing I was ace.
It’s also not scientifically sound. They’re speaking here of asexual reproduction. That’s not something we’ve claimed to be able to do. By saying we’re asexual, we’re not referring to our genetic/biological abilities or even our physical attributes. We’re talking about something we feel is inherent to us as people. Sexuality is fluid and personal, and I don’t think anyone has the right to define or dismiss someone else’s sexual identity.
I agree with Ezzy. This could have been a horribly damaging thought, not only to someone identifying as asexual, but to a friend or acquaintance of an asexual person. People need to be aware that this is a seriously false image of what we are and how we’re labeling ourselves.
Asexual reproduction and asexuality as a sexual orientation are two completely fucking different things, therefore this person’s argument is illogical (especially since homosexuals won’t reproduce unless they engage in artificial insemination or engage in sex they don’t really want to) Before it was even really considered as a sexual orientation, Kinsey studies reported roughly 1% of participants indicating a lack of sexual attraction. Recent studies replicate this. Furthermore, even among sexually reproducing animals, asexuality or lack of sexual attraction occurs, just like homosexuality. In a recent experience examining sheep, it was found that a consistent percentage of sheep (who were hormonally and physically FINE) would not have sex with neither the same or opposite sex. Furthermore, some of the rams would not engage in sex or exhibit arousal even when faced with a female in heat.
WHEN ARE PEOPLE GOING TO REALIZE THAT ASEXUALITY IN HUMANS IS AN ORIENTATION, NOT A REPRODUCTIVE STRATEGY, AND THAT IT’S ABOUT ATTRACTION, NOT ABOUT SEXUAL ACTS. SOME ASEXUALS HAVE SEX, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY FEEL ATTRACTION, WHICH IS WHAT ASEXUALITY IS. JUST LIKE SOME SEXUAL PEOPLE DON’T HAVE SEX, BECAUSE THEY WANT TO REMAIN ABSTINENT FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, BUT THEY MIGHT FEEL ATTRACTION - THEY JUST DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
REPEAT AFTER ME: ASEXUALITY IS THE LACK OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION. IT IS NOT A REPRODUCTIVE STRATEGY. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH REPRODUCTION OR SEXUAL ACTS. IT IS THE LACK OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
I want to say something that I want you to remember for the rest of your lives, okay? I want you to listen closely… The Key to Life is Running and Reading.
When you’re running… there’s a little person that talks to you and that little person says, ‘Oh, I’m tired. My lung’s about to pop. Oh, I’m so hurt; I’m so tired. There’s no way I can possibly continue.’ And you want to quit, right? That person… If you learn how to defeat that person when you’re running, you will learn how to not quit when things get hard in your life.
Reading… there have been millions and billions and billions and gazillions of people that have lived before all of us. There’s no new problem you could have – with your parents, with school, with a bully, with anything. There’s no problem you can have that someone hasn’t already solved and wrote about it in a book.”
|—||Will Smith (via compulsive-thrifting)|
If you are a teacher or going to be… Watch this!!!
If you are not a teacher.. WATCH THIS!
I love this and I am so glad someone put this into words.
I don’t normally reblog stuff like this but props to this dude.
It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking..
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room’s only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.
‘Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .’
The origin of this letter is unknown, but please pass it on.
|—||William Upski Wimsatt|